Some funny English jokes - iraq, husband and Ferrari

Joke : I don't want to go to Iraq either
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A soldier ran up to a nun, out of breath, he asked,
“Please may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain
later”. The nun agreed.
A moment later two military police ran up and
asked, “Sister have you seen a soldier?”
The nun replied, "He went that way. ”
After thy ran off, the soldier crawled out from
under the skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough
sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq. ”
The nun said she understood completely.
The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you
have a great pair of legs.”
The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher,
you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t
want to go to Iraq either



Cheating' husband and suspecting wife
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A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers.



The woman says, " Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answered the woman.

"We don't have a maid," said the woman.

The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house.

The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?"

The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife."

The woman is fuming. She says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots.

The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here."

A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 832-4821?"



Lady in Ferrari Dealership

A Lady Walked Into a Ferrari Dealership Just To
Browse. Suddenly She Spotted The Most Beautiful
Car That She Had Ever Seen, And Walked Over To
Inspect It . As She Bent Forward To Feel The Fine
Leather Upholstery , An Unexpected Little Fart
Escaped Her .
Embarrassed , She Anxiously Looked Around To
See If Anyone Had Noticed And Hoped A Sales
Person Didn’t Pop Up Right Now . But, As She
Turned Back
There, Standing Next To Her , Is A
Salesman . With A Pleasant Smile He Greeted Her .
“ Good Day, Madame , How May We Help You
Today ?”
Trying To Maintain An Air Of Sophistication And
Acting As Though Nothing Had Happened , She
Smiles Back And Asked, “ Sir, What Is The Price Of
This Lovely Vehicle?” Still Smiling Pleasantly, He
Replied, “ Madame, I’ m Very Sorry To Say That If
You Farted Just By Touching It , You Are Going To
Shit When You Hear The Price!”