Nov 25, 2014

mosquito and condom - joke

शिक्षक : हामीले लाम्खुट्टेहरु जन्मिन बाट रोक्नु पर्छ ।
विद्यार्थी : त्यो त हुन नै सक्दैन ।
शिक्षक : किन ?
विद्यार्थी : लाम्खुट्टेहरुले लगाउने तेत्रो सानो कन्डम त बन्नै सक्दैन सर !!!

boys in brothel

Two men went 2 a borthel
1st went in and came out n said “ what a waste of money.... my wife is better than her.”
2nd went in and came out n said “ Yes...U R right. Your wife is much better.”  

priest and a girl - like this - yes yes

Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest : "What have you done my child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call  him a son of a bitch?"
Girl : "Because he 
touched my hand."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my breast."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son
of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of abitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (she stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES
FATHER, YES
FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl : "But father,he had AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Sep 17, 2013

गफाडी खरायो - talkative rabbit joke

एउटा खरायो पसलमा गएर:
खरायो: गाँजर छ ?
पसले: छैन
...

खरायो अर्कोपटक आएर
'गाँजर छ गाँजर ?'
पसले: छैन भने, भाग उता !

खरायो गयो 

फेरि अर्कोपटक आएर भन्यो
'गाँजर छ ?'
पसलेलाई रिस उठेर खरायोको दाँत तोडिदियो

अर्कोपटक फेरी खरायो आयो
अनि भन्यो
'गाँजरको जुस छ ?'

Rekha Thapa doesn't know english



धुर्मुस्: रेखा थापालाई त English नै आउँदो रैनछ 

सुन्तलि: तिमीलाई कसरी थाहा भो नि, धुर्मु

धुर्मुस्: मैले "Give Me A Kiss" भनेको त एक थप्पड पो दिइ ।

पानी परेका बेला हिँड्न ठिक - nepali joke

मलाई पानी परेका बेला हिँड्न ठिक लाग्छ , किनकि कसैले मेरो ‘आँसु’ देख्दैन ।
धत् यो त पुरानो कुरो, नयाँ के नि ?

मलाई हुस्सु कुहिरो लागेको बेला हिँड्न ठीक लाग्छ । किनभने मैले चुरोट पिएको कसैले देख्दैन ।
यो झन् बकवास, अझ नयाँ के नि ? मलाई पैदल हिँड्न ठीक लाग्छ, किनभने पेट्रोल महँगो भयो ।

यी सब वाहियात कुरा हुन्

माथिका सबै कुरा सुनेर नर्सरी पढ्ने शेरेको छोराले च्यालेन्ज गर्यो ।

सबैभन्दा latest मलाई थाहा छ ।

मलाई पानी परेको बेला नै हिड्न ठीक लाग्छ । किनभने मैले कट्टुमै सुसु गरेको कसैले थाहा पाउँदैन । 



teacher student - define physics joke

Teacher :- Define Physics ?
Student :- purai aaudaina sir,
.
Antim ko matra yaad xa.
.
.
Teacher :- la kei xaina antim kai
bhayeni sunai hal ?
.
.
.
.
.
Student :-
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
....and this is called Physics.


Teacher thau ko thau behosh...

Mar 20, 2013

A inspiring story about being positive, listen to your own heart, don't get


A inspiring story : Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be  negative or pessimistic

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs, who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower.

A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants...

The race began...

Honestly:
No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower.
You heard statements from the crowd such as:
>"Oh, WAY too difficult!!"
>"They will NEVER make it to the top."
>"Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"


The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one...
... Except for those who in a fresh tempo were climbing higher and higher...

The crowd continued to yell
"It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!"


More tiny frogs got tired and gave up...
...But ONE continued higher and higher and higher...
This one wouldn’t give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the top!
THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?

A contestant asked the tiny frog how the one who succeeded had found the strength to reach the goal?

It turned out that the winner was DEAF!!! :)


The wisdom of this story is:

Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be  negative or pessimistic...cause they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you. The ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions!

Therefore:
ALWAYS be POSITIVE!

And above all:
Be DEAF when people tell YOU that YOU can not fulfil YOUR dreams!

Always think:
I can do this!

Nov 13, 2012

some funny nepali jokes


एकचोटी एउटा गाइडले एउटा अङ्रेज पर्यटकलाई काठमाडौं घुमाउँदैथ्यो ।
गाइडले एउटा ठूलो बिल्डिङ देखाएर भन्यो "यो संसद भवन हो !"
अङ्रेज: "यति सानो ? यत्रो त हामीकहाँ पिज्जा हुन्छ !"
गाइडले फेरी नारायणहिटी देखाएछ
अङ्रेज: "यत्रो त हामीकहाँ बर्गर हुन्छ !"
गाइडलाई धेरै रिस उठेपनि चुप लागेर बस्यो, फेरी उसले धरहरा देखायो
अङ्रेज: "यो खे हो ?"
गाइड: "यो तिम्रो बर्गर र पिज्जाको लागि tomato sause को बोतल हो !" :p

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फुटबलर क्रिस्चियानो रोनाल्डोले राजेश दाइलाई भनेछन्, मैले एकपटक फुटबल हाने भनें, बल दुई मिनेटसम्म घुमिरहन्छ, दाइ फिस्स हाँसेछन् र भनेछन्, तिमीलाई थाहा छैन होला, अहिलेसम्म कसरी पृथ्वी घुमिरहेको छ भन्ने, यो मेरो एउटै प्रहारको करामत हो।

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एक पटक राजेश हमाल बाग्लुङ गएका थिए