Five Important Qualities of a good wife

Five Important Qualities of a good wife  - a joke

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

some cool morals - funny quotes

Cool Morals: 

1. Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa. 
2. One should love animals. They are tasty too. 
3. Save water. Drink beer. 
4. Studying is healthy. So leave it for the sick. 
5. Books are holy. So don't touch them. 
6. Love your neighbor. But don't get caught. 
7. Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

नेपाली उखान टुक्का लाई फेरी सम्झिने कि :

ल केही उखान टुक्कालाई फेरी सम्झिने कि :
1. मनको लद्दु बियर सँग खा
2. जाडो भयो राती अनी बुढी ताती
3. जस्ता लाई तेस्तै पाउरोटीलाई निस्तै
4. जुन नेता आए पनि घुस खान नछाड्ने
5. कस्ता कस्ता कहाँ गए मुसाको बच्चा दरबारमा

Famous Funny Jokes about Nepali Politicians

केही कंप्यूटर शब्दावलीको नेपाली रूपांतरण:::
Delete: सफाया गरिदिनोस्
Windows: चियाउनोस्
Save: आत्मसुरक्षा गर्नोस्
Save as: जसरी भए पनि गर्नोस्
...Password: गोप्य सहमती
Virus: बिरोधी
File: अखडाहरु
Help: चन्दा उठाउनोस्
Normal यथास्थितिबादी
Bold: क्रान्तीकारी
Italic: दक्षिणपन्थी
Undo: प्रतिगामी कदम

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प्रचण्ड सानो हुदा स्कूलमा
गणित सर : यदी मसंग ९ ओटा आप छ भने तेस्लाई कसरी १० ओटा केटाहरु माझ बढ्ने ?
सानो प्रचण्ड : धेरै सजिलो छ मने... त्यो १० जना केटा मध्ये एक जनालाई मारदिने !!!!

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एक दिन हाम्रो झलनाथ खनाल job ko लागि interview दिन अमेरिका गयको थियो।
On the Gate Mr. Jhalnaath Khanal, said May i come In Sir?
Officer : wait Please.
Jhalnaath Khanal : 80 KG Sir....

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एउटा सोजो नेपाली केटोलाई
प्रचण्ड :(पजेरो देखाउदै ) ल हेर !!! मैले नेपाली जनतालाई ठगेको पैसाले यो गाडी किने, कस्तो लग्यो ?
माकुने: (स्विस बैंकको कार्ड देखाउदै ) ल हेर !!! मैले नेपाली जनतालाई ठगेको पैसाले स्विस बैंकमा खाता खोले, कस्तो लग्यो ?
नेपाली केटो:( रिसौदै दुइजनालाई एक एक मुक्का हान्दै ) ल हेर , मैले गाउमा घिउ , सिस्नु खाएर बनाएको जिउ अनि यसको तागत कस्तो लग्यो ?

Famous Funny Nepali Quotes

एक जमाना थियो मानिसहरु आफ्नो ढोकामा लेख्थे,
'अतिथि देवो भव:`!
फेरि लेख्थे `शुभ लाभ`!
फेरि लेख्थे `यू आर वेलकम`!
अहिले लेख्छन 'कुकुरदेखि सावधान'!

Funny Nepali Political Quote

"ma mare pani mero desh baanchi rahos"
म मरे पनि मेरो देश बाचि रहोस् ।
-Mahendra Bir Bikram Shah

"ma mare pani mero choro disco maa naachi rahos."
म मरे पनि मेरो छोरा डिस्कोमा नाची रहोस् ।
-Gyanendra Shah

Ma ke bhandachu bhane - Ma mare pani mero chori kurshi ma basi rahos.
म के भन्दैछु भने - म मरे पनि मेरो छोरी कुर्शीमा बसी रहोस् ।
- Girija Prasad Koirala.

Some Funny Quotes (English)

• Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" ... until you can find a rock. 
• It's not a bug, it's a feature. >> Support 
• As far as I can tell, calling something philosophical is like greasing a pig to make it hard to catch. 
• It’s always known that one horse can run faster than another. But which one? 
• Some people will believe anything if you whisper it to them. 

• If you want to make peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies. 
• We could never learn to be brave and patient If there were only joy in the world. 
• War does not determine who is right - only who is left. 
• Gratitude is expensive. Revenge is profitable. 
• A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of. 
• The greatest weariness comes from work not done. 
• It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. 
• Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen. 
• No matter how big or soft or warm your bed is, you still have to get out of it. 
• I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. 
• We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. 
• I slept, and dreamed that life was beauty;I woke, and found that life was duty.